He is More Than Enough

Yesterday was a very good and intimate day for me with Tita Annie and Tita Ging. We had a lunch date and with it we talked a lot of things about our experiences, about others’ experiences, about the things that God has done in our lives, and so much more.


Tita Ging, my small group leader, asked me, “In what way you could say that God loves you?” I pondered for a while and answered, “The thought itself that God sent His Son to die for me. Of all people He chose me. He chose to die for me simply because He loves me.”


And another way I could say that God really loves me is because of mama. God gave me a wonderful mama. She was my back support, my emotional support, my mediator (between daddy and me), my encourager, my intercessor, my listener (to both of my meaningful and senseless ideas), and a lot more.

 

Photo courtesy: Orange Parents

I continued my reasoning and told Tita Ging that God took mama away because He wants me to know that He is enough. He is more than enough.  My dependency must not be on my mama, but on Him.  I remembered a month before mama passed away on September 2007, I prayed intensely to God declaring that he is more than enough in my life.  Yes. Those were the exact words I uttered – “He is more than enough! You are more than enough, Lord.”


I saw a piece of paper inserted in my Bible, which I wrote on Aug. 18, 2007:

"When everything in my life is stripped away and God is the only one left in me, I have more than enough!"

Call that a bold statement. I call it an impulsive (almost foolish) statement at that time.  Never in my thoughts came that more than a month after, God took my only ally away.  It was sudden. And yes, my bold declaration was put into test which I imagined it differently than what was happening.  God’s thoughts are indeed higher than my thoughts.  His ways are higher than my ways. When He took mama away, I didn’t question Him why He took her or why it had to happen.  My only question was, “Why so soon?”


This morning as I was brushing my hair, the question of Tita Ging ran through my mind again. “In what way you could say that God really loves you?”


My answer would still be the same: He gave me a wonderful mom for 23 years of my life.  Then I pondered, “Now that mama is gone does that mean God doesn’t love me anymore?”


I stand for the unwavering truth that God loves me.  Yes, He loves me and He is indeed more than enough.  He loves me and that’s final.  He loves me too much that He took mama away. And yes, I got that early morning answer from Him:

“I love you for you are My child.  I love you too much not to take your mother away.  If I hadn’t taken your mom that soon, would you hunger and thirst for more of Me?  If I hadn’t taken your mama away that soon, would  you grow? You would grow but not exponentially.  If I hadn’t taken your mama away that soon, would You experience the comfort I have for you during your deepest sorrow?  Would you know how sufficient My grace is for you?  Would you long for Me that much if I hadn’t taken your mama away?  Would you have known your real condition, your real heart, and your wall you have built against your daddy?  If I hadn’t taken your mama away that soon would you know what ‘I am more than enough’ really means?

You desire that I take captive of your heart. This is the way I choose to captivate you.  Remember, I know the plans I have for you; plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  I love you that much!”

I could not forget what Os Hillman, author of The Upside of Adversity, wrote, “We must get beyond the immature notion that God is only interested in making us healthy, wealthy, and happy.  God wants so much for us than that.  He wants us to be wise, mature, obedient, bold, and committed.”


I praise the Lord for what He has done and for what He has revealed to me.  I praise God for His love is so wide, so long, so high, and so deep for me to really comprehend.  Yes Lord, You are more than enough! Glory to You alone!





[Jounal entry April 24, 2011]