Going Solo (Part 1 of 2)

Monday… Work… It’s the start of the work week to welcome another bulk of transactions, and another day to entertain this one “kulit” (stubborn) client.  Weeks before, this client of mine kept on proposing to introduce to me her nephew. In our dialect, we call it, “pakilala.” She kept on asking me if I have a boyfriend every time she transacts at my counter.  And she said, there is this nephew of hers she would like me to get introduced to.  I know her motives, “basi pa lang may potensyal nga maging close kag magkadevelopan” (maybe there is a potential between us to get close and be more than friends).  And so, I was being polite to her but I wasn’t serious in taking her proposal.

Photo courtesy: singlelife-eliska.blogspot.com

Unexpectedly, days after our last conversation, she brought her nephew with her to the bank.  As she made her transaction with me, she then introduced her nephew.  She seemed excited, but I wasn’t. I was smiling at her and at her nephew. I was just being courteous.  I was not expecting that she would really mean what she said to me last time.  So, there was a very quick “chit chat” with this gentleman while doing client’s transaction.  Then before they went out the bank, my client asked me (more of insisted) my contact number.  I was hesitant to give it, but because I didn’t want to be rude to her, I gave it with no intention of replying to his text (if he would ever text me.) And, yeah. He texted me that night.  A one-way text, that is, for I didn’t text him back (rude me).

Fast forward to the story, this morning she asked me how I was doing (more like asking about me and his nephew).  She asked if he ever texted me again. I answered, “Just that once,” which I never did reply (okay, mean me).

She kept on questioning me, “Why? Why? Why?” for the nth time, and I answered her for the nth time (actually, only a second time), “Lain beh Ma'am ang calling ko sa life” (Ma'am, it is because I have a different calling in life) until the conversation came to discussing about becoming single for life.

She discouraged me saying, “Ay, indi nami mag isahanon ka lang kag indi ka mamana. Masubo ina.” (It is not good to be single and not to get married. It would be lonely.)

I answered her, “Lain galing ang panan-aw ko sa kabuhi. Kung papilion ko, mas gusto ko maging single for life, indi ko mamana.” (Well, I have a different perspective in life.  If I get to choose, I will choose to remain single for life; not to get married.)

She said in response, “Ginahambal mo lang na kay wala pa nag abot imo prince charming.  Kung mag-abot na siya malain naman na ang imo panan-aw sa kabuhi” (You are only saying that since your prince charming hasn’t come yet.  When he does, your view in life will change.)

Well, I guess there is some truth to what she said.  But after my conversation with her, I came to a realization.  I realized that there are very few people who can embrace the idea of becoming single for life, and understand the privilege, the power, and the blessing attached to it. So far, I only know two persons who can appreciate that kind of life: [1] Tita Ging, my lifegroup leader, and [2] Paul (formerly called Saul of Tarsus), a Pharisee turned  persecutor of the Christian church turned missionary apostle in the Bible.

Photo courtesy: primerates.com

Everytime I read 1 Corinthians 7, I get excited and convicted especially when Paul tackled singleness.  In my thoughts I say, “See! Paul is right! I believe his personal judgment is right.”  And I definitely go with Paul’s idea of remaining single for life.  You know, with this age (I’m age 28) and in this culture, people expect you to get married and to have your own family already.  Most people I meet would assume that normally, men and women, at a proper marrying age, would like and would plan to get married and spend the rest of their lives with their [life] partners; and those people who would opt not to, would get a “shock” or a “question” from them. 

The problem with most, if not all, people I meet is, they are quick to assume that I am a normal person that has a normal plan of getting married and has a normal dream of having my own kids. Yes. Normally, that is. Marriage is a natural phase of life and it is God's will as well. Well yeah, it is safe to assume that I am a normal person because I really am. It's just that, to some, I have a slight abnormality (if that's what they may call it) when it comes to marriage-singleness issue.

I get that funny reaction every time I tell people I plan NOT to get married, “What?! Why?!”  And sometimes, I get that reaction with their eyes wide open. I am imagining seeing a lot of bold and italicized question marks in their thought bubbles. LOL!

“Sheesh! Why a surprise on your face?” – my bubble thought while looking at their reaction.  I might take my camera with me to capture the funny, shocked expression the next time I encounter that same reaction. :D

People I know could not just picture me out as being single for the rest of my life. They just could not. I remember even having those weird (for me) statements and proposals I get from people like from aunts, "Why hasn't someone discovered you yet?" or "When will be the [wedding] date?" or from some mothers, "I wish my son could meet you. You might want to marry my son. I wish I would have you as my daughter-in-law." and from some friends, "Sheslley, you are a wife material. Why not get married?"  To all of those, I have one reaction: deadma (indifference).

I remembered what Jesus said to His disciples in Matthew 19:10-12:

The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”  Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given.  For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven.  The one who can accept this should accept it.”

True enough, NOT everyone can accept the life of singleness or just the thought of it.  I believe I am one of the few people who can accept this word.  I believe it is a gift from God to accept this.  “The one who can accept this should accept it.” – I will accept this.  This is not just a reckless blurt out of words from my mouth; this is something I stand convicted ever since childhood.

Continued in Going Solo (Part 2)>>>

[Journal entry: March 26, 2012]